A Love Letter Of The Past
by Animeaholic
Summary: C.E. 80. His hands trembled wildly as he stared at the old crinkled piece of stationary highlighted with hot pink ink, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he remembered the one he loved…


**A Love Letter of The Past**

**A/N: **My first attempt at writing an Yzak X Fllay fic, one-shot. Dedicated to Kkornelia, a way of paying her back for all the work she has put in to the Yzak and Fllay section. Hope you enjoy it.

**Genres: **Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort

**Rated:** T for language, violence, and sexual situations

**Summary: **C.E. 80. His hands trembled wildly as he stared at the old crinkled piece of stationary highlighted with hot pink ink, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he remembered the one he loved… She had been the only women he ever loved, and yet he never even took the time to visit her grave.

**Date**** Started:** Friday, October 02, 2009

**Date Finished:**Saturday, October 10, 2009

* _Italics_ for thoughts and flashbacks.

Please enjoy and leave a review, if all goes well, I may continue to write more for this unofficial couple in the future.

Silver hair and blue eyes stared back at him, as Yzak Joule took the time took examine himself in the wall-mounted mirror before removing it, and placing it in a box marked "fragile" with various other objects. He had just received the good news that he would be promoted to the ZAFT supreme council, just as his mother Ezalia had all those years ago. He was proud, this was the highest point a ZAFT soldier could reach. Of course, he was now playing the part of a politician rather than fighting on the front lines, but after all these years he could finally takes his rightful seat on the government of the PLANTs.

The promotion however, meant that he had to re-locate, and moving meant having to pack up all of his stuff and transport it to his new home. It was a pain in the ass, but a small price to pay for such a great honor.

He glanced at his watch, 6:30. "That bastard, he's supposed to be back by now", he growled, and continued his job. He knew that getting help would be a wise idea; it would take some of the work off his hands, and get it finished a lot faster. So he enlisted the help of his best friend, Dearka Elsman, to assist him; but tonight happened to be the night that Dearka decided to take his natural girlfriend, Miriallia, out for dinner.

"Look Yzak, I'm sorry, I really am, but I promised Milly I'd take her out tonight. Don't worry I'll be back before seven, and then I'll help you for as long as you want me to." Yzak furrowed his brow.

"Your damn right you will, maybe I'll make you do it all by yourself well I kick back with a nice glass of Pepsi and enjoy the midnight air!" "Yzak, you can't be serious" Dearka begged. "Be back by 6:30 and I'll help you. But if your not back in time, consider yourself my personal servant for this evening."

Yzak smiled. "Well, looks like he's gonna have one rude awakening when he gets here." He stopped packing, and moved himself over to the easy chair. He sunk into it, and entered thinking mode. _Dearka, that pathetic fool, all he cared about was that sandy haired natural girl. He had been smitten with her ever since he was imprisoned on the archangel._ It was in these moments that she found her way into his head, as she often did. She lived in his heart, and seemed to vacation to the brain whenever he thought about love. He closed his eyes and pictured her beautiful flame red hair, those intoxicating blue-gray eyes, her perfect female figure that any man would be a fool to turn down. He remembered her words, that precious voice echoed through the walls of his skull. Once he started thinking about her, he couldn't get her out of his mind.

"F-Fllay." his voice called out. But he knew he wouldn't get an answer. As much as he would love to hear her voice again, just one more time, he knew it wouldn't come. Fllay Allster was nine years dead, gone, never to speak, never to smile, never to laugh, never to love again.

He reached for his drawer, fumbled for the handle, grasped it, and pulled it open. His hand searched for the frame and he pulled it out, holding it up in front of his face and carefully studying its contents.

The closest he'd could ever get to Fllay Allster came in the form of a 10 year old photograph that she had given him all those years ago, when they were in love. This picture, along with the one of his fallen comrade Nicol, was the most valuable item in the Joule household.

He was trapped in the picture's enchanting spell. For a moment he felt happy, but it didn't last long when he realized that she was just a photograph, an image neatly developed on a fancy piece of paper, nothing more than a memory now.

His body began to chill, he started to quiver and shake uncontrollably. The frame fell out of his hand and crashed to the floor. The loud shattering of glass quickly snapped him out of his trance like state.

"God damn it!" he yelled. "Now I gotta buy another frame." He sighed and pulled the picture out of the remains of the frame, he suddenly stopped as he ran his fingers along the back of the photograph, it didn't feel right, it wasn't sleek and smooth like a photograph should be, it was rough and course. He quickly flipped it around, his eyes grew wide when he saw a folded up piece of paper taped to the back of the picture.

Yzak sat back down and unfolded the paper. He glanced down at it. What immediately stood out was the ink color- hot pink. There was no doubt in his mind that this was her writing. Anxiously he began to read:

"Dearest Yzak, I am writing to express my true feelings for you, their going to send me away, and I have to let you know, but I feel that this is something I cannot express to you in person. There are a number of reasons why. I don't really think that I can talk to you about this without breaking down in tears, it may cause a scene that would give away our secret love, and it would cause me more pain than I could possibly deal with. In the unfortunate event that for some reason we don't meet again, then I want you to have a copy of my thoughts, so that you can always know how much I truly love you. And ink, like my love, is permanent, and it will never fade away."

His hands trembled wildly as he stared at the old crinkled piece of stationary highlighted with hot pink ink, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he remembered the one he loved. It felt as though she was right there, Yzak had finally gotten the chance to talk to her again, that burning desire to hear her speak that he had held secretly for 9 years was finally being fulfilled. He couldn't even bring himself to read on, he still had not quite gotten over the sweetness of the situation.

There was a knock at the door. "Yo Yzak, I'm back" Dearka announced as he stepped through the door before Yzak could even think to answer.

"So what's up? How much work did you get done?' _That son of a bitch, he's never here when I need him, and yet whenever I don't want him here he just waltzes on in like he owns the place._

Dearka froze when he saw the state his friend was in, pale and shaky, and yet he had a look of pure euphoria on his face. "What's wrong man? Are you sick or something?" With that one question from Dearka, Yzak's deadly short temper began to flare. "Shut up Dearka, just shut the hell up!" "Damn Yzak, you really don't look very good. Do you want me to go get Miriallia to take a look at you?" Yzak was not in the mood for Dearka and his stubborn persistent attitude right now. There was only one person he wanted to see; only one person he could even think to be with right now, and she was gone.

"Listen Dearka, I was actually perfectly fine until you came barging in here, and I'm going to be just as well when you leave here. But now, I don't need your help for tonight, so go home and take the rest of the night to yourself, because right now your doing nothing but pissing me off!" Dearka was astonished. It was unlike Yzak to act this way; sure, he screamed at him on a regular basis, but normally he would punish him by making him do more work, and now he was doing just the opposite. After a few seconds of thinking, Dearka had come to the conclusion that it was best if he just left and discussed this with him in the morning, but as he turned to leave, something caught his eye.

It was a shattered picture frame, with the photograph laying face down beside it. He glanced over at Yzak, who appeared to be holding some kind of letter. He bent down and picked up the photograph. Words could not describe his surprise when he flipped the picture over.

It was Fllay. Fllay Allster. Dearka had only seen her once, and recognized her as the crazy psychotic natural girl who tried to put a bullet through his head 9 years ago on the Arch Angel. But he certainly knew who she was. Miriallia had talked about her sometimes, and she was George Allster's daughter. She had been killed at the end of the war. But how did Yzak know her? Where did this picture come from? Even if he somehow met her by chance, and knew her well enough to carry her picture around, surely he would have told Dearka, his best friend, about her. And yet, Dearka had never even so much as heard Yzak say her name. He had to solve this puzzle, and he decided he wasn't leaving until he got some answers.

"What the hell is this Yzak? Since when did you meet Fllay Allster anyway?" Dearka demanded. Yzak wanted to lash out and strike Dearka, but for some reason, he just couldn't find the strength, He never really had the chance to talk to someone about Fllay, it might be good for him to let some of those old caged emotions free.

"She was taken prisoner aboard the Vesalius, that's how I met her." Yzak replied.

"Well, were you close? You must have been to keep a picture of her." Yzak frowned, not knowing what to say, they had sworn their romance to secrecy, not a living soul besides him knew about it. Well, Fllay did, but she was gone.

Yzak thought for a moment, about how deeply he regretted not being there to save her, and a familiar pain returned to him, the pain of fear, the pain of regret, the pain of loss. Had he known that they were going to send her out in the middle of a battlefield, helpless in nothing but a small life pod with no defense or escorts, he would not have allowed it to happen. Hell, he would have scooped her up and taken her to a far off galaxy, away from the war, where they could live in peace. If only he had known.

The pain was overwhelming, it tore his insides apart, re-opened those old wounds that had never quite managed to heal. It was unimaginable, the worse pain he had ever felt; far worst than when the strike gave him that scar. This scar wasn't on his face, it was on his heart.

He closed his eyes. He wanted desperately to go back in time and change the way things had occurred. To take the life pod, and guide her lost soul to safety. But when he opened his eyes, nothing had changed, Fllay was still dead, he still felt responsible, and Dearka was still in his living room, wanting answers. The pain was still there, eating away at him. The pain was still there.

"Yzak?" Dearka's words had caught his attention. "Well, we weren't close at first, that's for sure." He answered with a small smile spread across his face as he fondly remembered the old days of their love.

"Well I bet there's a nice long story behind this." Dearka stated as he pulled up a chair to sit down in. There was, but it was supposed to be the secret of two wayward lovers, whose love never got the chance to fully blossom into the incredible beauty that it deserved to be.

But it had been 9 years and Fllay was gone, the war was over, and coordinators and naturals were finally staring to live in peace and harmony together. There was no real reason for there love to be kept a secret anymore, the times had changed, and no matter how much he wanted to return to those old days of the past, it wasn't possible. He figured Dearka should know at least…

_The two stood in front of Commander Le Crueset presenting their__ affairs to a higher power who could fix them. At this point in time, they had only one thing in common, their distinct hatred for each other._

"_I can't stay on the same ship as this natural women Commander! She thinks that I'm her own personal maid. She's always ordering me to do this, or get her that, I can't take it anymore! Either she goes, or I go!" Fllay scowled it was now time for her to tell her side of the issue._

"_Well Commander, Yzak simply has no idea how to treat a lady! He has no respect for women whatsoever, me in particular, because I'm a natural. He is rude, ignorant, obnoxious, arrogant, impatient, and has the worst temper I have ever seen!"_

_The Commander scratched his head, it was clear that the two of them hated the ground the other one walked on, Le Crueset knew that there was only one thing that he could do. _

"_Very well than." He said with great concern. "I have heard both __of your complaints, and you obviously cannot co-exist with each other. Therefore only one thing can be done._

"_And what's that sir?" Yzak asked. The commander smiled an evil smile that made Yzak's skin crawl; he knew this wasn't going to be good. "From this moment on" the commander began, "the 2 of you are to spend every possible moment together."_

"_WHAT!?!" the two of them screamed out in unison. "Have you lost your mind commander? This doesn't make any sense at all!"_

"_No, Mr. Joule, I think that with time you'll both soon discover that opposites attract."_

"_Are you kidding me?" Fllay yelled. "There's no way I can live with him!"_

"_I'll be moving Ms. Allster into your room tonight Yzak. I expect you to treat her with absolute respect, and Fllay, I expect you to do the same."_

_Yzak's soul had been shattered. As a ZAFT elite red, he was given the highest quality room available on the ship, it was perfect, and it was just for him. But now he had to share it with her of all people! This was an outrage!_

"_Commander, I beg you, please don't do this!"_

"_My decision is final." The commander stated curtly. "Come now, I'll escort you to your room. Yzak, you are to help Ms. Allster move all of her belongings into your room, I will send some privates in to bring her bed later. You will do everything together, eat together, live together, converse together, and eventually, you may even end up sleeping together."_

_The thought sickened Yzak. "I highly doubt that sir." He simply could not believe this was happening to him. It felt like a nightmare, any moment now he would have to wake up, but he didn't, it was reality._

"_Very well then" the commander spoke. "I do hope you enjoy your time together."_

"_Sorry sir, but I'm afraid you're going to be very disappointed." Fllay whined._

_The two of them look at each other, disgusted, reluctantly they entered there room. They went in to make things better and somehow managed to make them a lot worse, or so they thought…_

Yzak remembered every single thought and emotion that was going through his head at this time, while he spoke these words to Dearka. He remembered how he almost pulled out his gun, and killed her that night. He was within a hairs length of ending her right then and there. Not pulling that trigger was the best decision that Yzak Joule had ever made in his life.

_Yzak Joule was in hell. He couldn't think of a worse punishment than having to live with this pathetic woman. She was always whining and complaining. For some reason, she expected this ship to be a 5 star hotel rather than a war machine, and somehow she had come up with the asinine idea that he was her complimentary butler._

_It drove him nuts. She was always in the bathroom, trying to make him do stupid shit like help her fix her hair or put on her make-up. She practically lived in that god damn room, but she didn't sit in there quietly like he had hoped. She was determined to find every possible way to make his life miserable, and the easiest way to do that was to run her mouth. She always had something to bitch about, and a good portion of her bitching had something to do with him._

_The days, from sunrise to sunset consisted of nothing but arguing. The entire crew could hear every word of their vicious shouting matches. He was always the one who had to go to the cafeteria and get both of their meals. This was something Yzak jumped at the chance to do, the more time he could spend away from that room the better. It had gotten to the point where Yzak actually started looking forward to the battles. He prayed for the chance to get into his Duel and get the hell out of that room._

_Fighting helped relieve the anger and the pain as well. Every time he went out there, he was full of rage, and slice through enemy mobile suits slowly took the rage away. But it all came back once he stepped into that room._

_He was already going through an incredibly difficult time as it was. A time when he was serious re-thinking his decision of staying with ZAFT. Patrick Zala's goals seemed to point directly to the extinction of the naturals. Yzak had spoken out about how pathetic he thought the naturals were, but did he really want them all dead? He was still contemplating what the world would be like without them. Fllay however seemed to be making him start to understand the chairman's ideals._

_Could coordinators and naturals truly learn to accept each others existence and live in peace together? For as long as human beings have known that other races have existed, there has been hate and discrimination between them. And although people had seemed to grow more mature and accepting through the years, there were always a few people that looked down on other people because of their ethnicity. _

_And George Glenn had unwittingly brought forth a whole new level of discrimination when he thrust a manual explaining his advanced existence onto an unsuspecting world._

_As the years past, and the coordinators grew in numbers, even building there own civilizations in outer space, the naturals began to feel more and more threatened by the existence of the genetically superior coordinators. Eventually, for these very reasons, all hell broke loose, and the galaxy was thrown into the never ending sorrow better known as war._

_This terrible war had caused Yzak to lose everything that he had held dear to him. Nicol, Rusty, Miguel, they had all been killed, gone, never to see the sunrise and set again. He thought about Nicol; such a sad waste of potential and talent. There was no doubt in Yzak's mind that if Nicol had survived, he would have easily become the world's greatest piano player. But now, because of war, his gentle hands would never grace those majestic ivory keys ever again._

_Dearka, the best friend he ever had was now listed as MIA, and Yzak was kept up at night hoping that the war didn't take him to. And of course Athrun had betrayed the PLANTs. Yzak could never understand what possessed Athrun to do this; especially after the naturals killed his mother._

_Yzak Joule had all of his friends taken away from him. And they were replaced with this despicable, whiny, and annoying natural girl. He desperately wanted someone to talk to, to let out all of his anger and feelings, and the only person there was her._

_He had been close to tears several times, he hadn't cried in his entire adult life. And to make matters worse, she wouldn't leave him alone. Yzak had thoughts of suicide, but he didn't know if he had the guts to go through with it._

_Time went on, and eventually they had lived together for an entire month. Le Crueset was right, they had somewhat become tolerant of each other. But Yzak would never let Fllay know that she really wasn't as bad as he thought, and Fllay would never let Yzak know that he was actually a very strong willed and good person, even underneath the arrogant and cold-hearted demeanor. And of course, neither of them would ever admit that they found the other one attractive._

_The two of them had learned to stay out of each other's way, and fighting was reduced. They conversed from time to time, nothing major, just little conversations here and there. Of course the occasional fight would break out here and there, but it was never as bad as their past arguments. They had reached a common sense of neutrality, and were slowly, very slowly, starting to get along; they could possibly even become friends if they were cooped up long enough._

_One night, Yzak had come in after a long battle, and he was exhausted, he passed out on his bed. Fllay was worried, she was scared that Yzak might have overdone it and pushed himself too far. But when she looked at him, and saw how peaceful he looked sleeping, she knew that all he needed was some good, long, and well deserved rest. She noticed something else as well…_

"That was the night that we had finally destroyed all of the hate and became friends for the first time, from this moment on; we actually cared about each other." Yzak said to his friend who was listening attentively. "We didn't fight anymore after that night, not after she did that for me." A small smile spread across Yzak's face as he remembered the better days.

Dearka seemed to be getting a little excited as the story got juicier. Ordinarily, he would crack a crude joke in this situation, but tonight, he knew it was more important to be serious.

"And what exactly did she do?" he asked. Yzak was silent for a second, Dearka assumed that he was searching for the words to explain it, but he was soon proven wrong. Yzak stood up, and began to walk away from the living room, Dearka nearly panicked. "Hey wait, where the hell are you going Yzak, you can't cut me off know, it's just getting to the serious part, I need to know this! Don't walk away!"

Yzak said nothing, and continued walking towards the kitchen. Dearka was now really upset. "Yzak, what the hell are you doing?" Yzak normally would have scolded Dearka for his insolence, but tonight, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Will you calm the fuck down Dearka, I'm just going to get a can of pepsi, do you want one?" Dearka did not blush, but his dumb and blank expression illustrated his humiliation perfectly, and caused Yzak to laugh even harder. With nothing else he could say, the young blond haired coordinator simply looked at the floor and replied "Yes please, that would be great".

Yzak returned with two cans of the famous soft drink and handed one of them to his friend. Yzak remembered the days when he and Dearka were younger; they were both huge fans of the delicious beverage and often placed bets for a can. The young voices spoke in his head, repeating old statements like "_I bet you a can of pepsi you can't run around the soccer field in 30 seconds". _But those memories were not the plot of this evening's conversation.

He sat down in his seat, cracked the top of the can open, and took a nice long drink. He glanced at Dearka and saw that he had done the same. He also saw how anxious his friend looked. "So where was I" Yzak asked. "I believe you were just getting to the good part" Dearka said with a perverted smile on his face.

"And what exactly is the good part Dearka, am I boring you?" Yzak questioned sternly. "N-No Yzak, please continue".

_She couldn't help but notice how cute he actually was. She had a hard time noticing it when he was awake, but from some reason, lying there in his sleep, he looked so peaceful. She tried, but couldn't take her eyes away from him. Any women would have killed for his looks. If the situation had been different, if they were in high school for example, she definitely would have liked him._

_But this was no high school, where drama and gossip filled up the lion's share of your days. This was a battle ship, where people lived only to fight. Here your time was spent killing people. She felt a warm sensation start to envelope her body, something about him was arousing to her, she liked him much better when he was a sleep._

_She sat quietly pulled a chair over to his bed, and carefully watched him. For a moment, she thought of being in that bed with him, but just when she remembered who she was thinking about, the moment was gone. Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep to._

_There was a cold chill in the air that gently brushed across her face, and slightly blew a strand of her delicate flame red hair off her soft face. She was sleeping peacefully and quietly, dreaming of days before the war. The days of peace had seemed so far away now. So could never return to them, her teenage years, hopes, ambitions, and carefree life had been torn away from her._

_Yzak felt the cold water splash his face as he leant over the sink and cleaned himself off. The pain and sadness had cut him deeply, and the wounds they had inflicted would never heal. He stared at his face in the mirror; the tears were all gone now, washed down the drain forever._

_He was ashamed of himself, he had a terrible emotional breakdown, it had felt like hours had gone by since he ran into the bathroom and looked to its quiet walls for comfort. Yzak Joule had simply decided that he had enough, and couldn't stand being alone in the world any longer. He could not get over the loss of his friends. Why was he the one left alive? Why was he the one who had to suffer the pain? Why couldn't he just be with his friends again?_

_It was far too much for him to deal with. He had to be free. He had to see his friends again. He couldn't be alone._

_Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out the shiny object that would set him free. It was a single golden bullet, for use in the ZAFT custom hand guns. He set the bullet down on the fresh towel that was laid out on the counter, and reached for his holster. He undid the latch, carefully wrapped his fingers around the gun, pulled it out, and placed it next to the bullet._

_Only one piece was left for his grand finale, and he quietly stepped out of the bathroom to retrieve it. Unaware that Fllay was awake and carefully watching him as he pulled out a photograph of a green haired coordinator, he moved back into the bathroom to say his final words. _

"_Nicol, I always used to tease you, I called you a hopeless coward on a daily basis. I couldn't have been more wrong. What you did was courageous and strong. I realize now that I will never be half the man you were. Your sacrifice was not in vane my friend, and you will live on in our hearts and memories for all eternity." She was listening attentively on the outside of the door. She never knew that Yzak could open up like this. She had never heard a more emotional speech in her entire life. It was so emotional in fact, that Fllay Allster began to lightly cry. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him; she had no idea what he had lost. She could see that this boy Nicol, was a very important friend to him, and that he deeply regretted not taking advantage of every moment they had spent together._

"_No other man would have near the amount of guts to give up his life for a comrade, but you did. You were strong, you were powerful, you were the greatest person I ever knew, but I was always to tough and foolish to admit it. I am honoured to have had the privelage to be your friend. I miss you Nicol. I can't wait any longer. See you on the other side."_

_Fllay's blue-gray eyes widened when she heard this. She knew what he was about to do, and was overwhelmed with fear, she had lost all the people that she had cared about as well, and she couldn't bear to lose him to. She didn't want to be alone, she had to do something._

_He had already loaded the bullet into the clip of his gun. He slid the clip in place, locked it, cocked it, and released the safety. He was ready for the end__. Before he placed the cold metallic barrel to the side of his head, paused briefly, and turned his view outside of the door, believing that Fllay was still asleep, he spoke. _

"_I'm sorry you're going to have to wake up to this. I know that if I were you last thing I'd want to see when I opened my eyes after a nice long sleep is a guy in the bathroom with his brains splattered all over the wall, but I can't go on anymore. I'm sorry"_

_Before he could even place the gun to his head, she burst through door with tears falling from her eyes. "STOP!" she yelled, and grabbed the gun from his loose grip. Yzak was infuriated._

"_What the hell do you think your doing!" he growled. "I'm stopping you from doing something stupid." she replied in a sweet, comforting voice. He could tell that she was genuinely concerned, and very scared._

"_I-I don't want you to die, your all I have left, I don't want to know anymore dead people." She cried out. The tears were falling like rain now, there was no doubt about it, she was really upset. "What the hell do you mean I'm all that you have left?" he asked with a puzzled expression. "Well, you're the only living person I know that I can call a friend right now."_

_Yzak was confused. Friend? Since when did they become friends? She must have been he thought, she was just trying to say nice stuff to him so that he wouldn't pull the trigger. But her tears told a very different story, a tale of sorrow and loss, one he knew far too well._

_As he looked at her, he was able to understand a whole different side of her. For once Yzak saw her as more then just a spoiled little rich natural girl, she was no different then him. He realized that she had shared the same agonizing experiences he had. She was young, just a high school girl. He was young, just a high school senior boy. Somehow, fate had dragged them into this cruel merciless world of war, and taken everything that they held dearly away from them._

_He couldn't stand to see her cry anymore. As tears gushed out of her beautiful and yet sad eyes, it hurt him. He felt her pain because he could relate to it, and he didn't want her to feel that sadness anymore. He wanted to help her._

"_You're not alone, and neither am I." Yzak told her. "I-I'm not alone-" he truly didn't feel that terrible emptiness anymore; she had relieved him of it. "Because, I have you with me. And you have me with you." _

_His words touched her soul as the two of them shared this beautiful moment together. "So you don't have to cry anymore, and I don't have to go. Because I'm here with you, I'm not alone anymore. So please, dry your tears, it's alright now, I'm here for you."_

_Fllay couldn't take it any longer, she was trying to be strong, trying to keep it all inside, just like he did. But all those months of emotional torture had finally taken their toll on the poor girl; she needed a shoulder to cry on, she was so happy she had Yzak. She threw her face into his hard muscular chest and sobbed uncontrollably. She felt a gentle, soft, and comforting hand stroke her hair as she pushed herself deeper into his embrace._

"_It's okay Fllay, you don't need to cry, it's all better now."_

"She helped me find the way back to reality, she made me realize that I didn't have to be alone, and I made her discover the same." Dearka almost felt like crying when his friend finished his sentence. The heart broken expression on Yzak's face only further portrayed that sad sense of loss that Dearka could read on his face all night long.

"Y-Yzak, I never knew you co-""Could be that emotionally sensitive and caring towards a women" Yzak interrupted. "I know, neither did I. But I couldn't bear to see that beautiful young woman's face soaked with tears. I never knew that things were so bad for her, I was far to busy with my own problems to even bother asking about hers. I knew her pain, I felt it with her that night, and I truly believe she felt mine. As I held her on that cold, dark night, I couldn't but ask myself if this is what love feels like."

Dearka's eyes began to water. He couldn't help himself, Yzak's tragic little love story reached out and touched your soul. And Dearka knew that it would stay with him for the rest of his life.

_They had stayed there in that room, lying in each other's arms all night. Eventually the talking stopped, the tears stopped, and the moment began to slowly fade away. But the feeling was still there, the emotion never went away._

_This must be what love feels like Yzak thought. If Fllay had suddenly disappeared into thin air, Yzak would be destroyed. He needed her, the warm feeling of her body resting on his made him tingle inside. He had never felt this way about anyone._

_After hours of silence, it was Fllay who spoke first. "Yzak?" she said. "Yes Fllay?" he responded. "Thank you very much; I could never explain in words how much this means to me." Yzak smiled and he tightened his embrace on her. "I should thank you, if you didn't come in when you did, I would be dead, and I never would have gotten the chance to see you for what you truly are." It was Fllay, who was smiling now, and slightly blushing as well._

"_Oh, and what is that Yzak?" she giggled. "A truly beautiful person, who was cruelly thrown into a horrifying war." She looked up at him, her beautiful eyes looking deep into his. There was now going back now, their fates were sealed. And they slowly moved into each other, pressing their lips together and sharing a long, passionate kiss._

_From here the bed seemed to release an incredible magnetic force that was far too powerful to resist. He lifted her up and carried her to his mattress, gently setting her down, and placing another kiss on her soft lips._

_She began to unbutton his jacket, pulled it off, and removed his shirt. She ran her fingers down his hard muscular figure. He unzipped her skirt and tossed it aside. They were last in love, passion had taken over, and before they knew it, they were exploring each others bodies, consumed by the heat of cupid's magic._

_They laid next to each other in that bed all day, and slept together in it all night. They talked for the whole time. Yzak was sincerely interested in what she had to say, before the clock struck 9pm they had each known the others life story._

_They loved each other they truly did. But they had to keep it secret, whenever they were together in that room; they had the best days of their lives. And whenever they left the room, they pretended to hate each other._

_From this point on, whenever Yzak went out to fight, he had the good reason that he had been searching for, to protect Fllay. The women he loved._

_Sadly time passed, and the precious moments that they had together were beginning to come to an end. Fllay was given a key by the commander, and told that it would end the war. The two had discussed what it was about, but ended up setting it aside and not worrying about it._

"I never would have known that it would end that way. We were sitting down having lunch; we had a nice conversation about a life after the war. But it never got to happen. I was called into battle, we shared a kiss, and that was the last time I saw ever saw her. When I got back to the ship after that battle, I couldn't find her anywhere. She was gone, the only sign of her was a framed picture that she left on my night side table, with a small note that read "I love you Yzak. P.S. Don't be afraid to change the frame, it's not very good." I never put much thought into it then, because all I cared about was finding out where the hell she was. When I finally got a hold of Le Crueset, he simply told me we were going into battle, and I had 5 minutes to get ready."

"Of course, I was sure to slip the picture in my pocket, which was a damn good thing. When I looked back and saw the Vesalius blow up, I was mortified. I begged and prayed that Fllay wasn't on that ship. Then I found out what happened, that bastard took her away from me, and I was powerless to do anything about it. I spent the last few hellish weeks of that war worried, sick. Hoping that no matter where she was, she was okay. I didn't care if she was in the hands of the earth forces, as long as she was okay."

"And then finally after all that worrying, I found out that she was safe on the Earth Alliance ship Dominion. I was so relieved. All I had to do was survive the last few days of the war, and I could be together with her once again. She gave me the strength to get through that battle at Yachin Due. And after all that fighting, worrying, and praying, I found out that she was dead. Gone, just like that, my entire world, my love, gone forever, dead, with only a stone left to mark her now. I will never forget that terrible pain, it still haunts me to this day."

By this point, Dearka was already blowing his nose in a handkerchief and sobbing like a little girl. "That was beautiful Yzak, truly beautiful." Yzak looked up at his friend and tried to smile for him, but all it displayed was sadness.

&-&-&

It had been 2:30 am in PLANT hours. Dearka had left long ago. He laid there alone on his bed, the cold midnight breeze blowing through the open window in his bedroom. He read the letter over and over again. It was all he had left off her now, that and a ten year old photograph.

As he was thinking of her, he knew what he had to do. He had to fulfill a promise he made to her when he found out she had past on. After all of these years, it sickened him that he had not acted on the promise much earlier; this was the soul of his love he promised on. She had been the only women he ever loved, and yet he never even took the time to visit her grave.

He would go to her grave, in Orb. He'd bring her the most beautiful and expensive bouquet of roses in the entire country, and he would pay his respects. He reached for the phone, in Orb it's just after supper he thought, and dialed a number.

The voice that answered on the other end of the phone was warm and familiar; it felt good to hear his old friend again.

"Hello, this is the Attha-Zala household, Atrun speaking." Yzak smiled. "How's it going you little shit?" he said with a smirk on his face. Athrun sounded pleasantly surprised "Yzak, how nice to hear from you again, but why are you calling hear now, it almost 3 in the morning in the plants." "Well Athrun, I'm thinking of an old friend, someone who died, and I just can't seem to get her off of my mind. I was hoping to make arrangements to go to Orb tomorrow so that I can visit her final resting place. Do you mind if I stay with you guys for a couple of days?"

Athrun smiled "Of course you can buddy, stay as long as you like, it'll be nice seeing you again." "Sure will" Yzak agreed, "But I gotta catch some Zs, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright later." Atrun said, and hung up the phone.

Yzak looked at the letter, read through it one last time, and set it aside.

"Goodnight Fllay" he said, and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

&-&-&

It was a beautiful fall Day when Yzak Joule arrived in Orb. The multiple colors of fallen leaves dance in the wind and painted the landscape like a brilliant rainbow. It was truly stunning.

When Athrun opened the door, it was very clear that he was overjoyed to see his old friend again. "Long time no see Yzak" "Not long enough for my taste you old bastard." They both burst out laughing and shared a nice friendly embrace. They had there differences in the past, but Yzak had to admit, it felt really good to see Athrun again, he was one of the only real friends that Yzak had in this world, and he truly understood him like no other.

The two of them sat down at the dinner table to catch up as Cagalli brought each of them a nice hot cup of tea, before making her own and joining them at the table.

"So, I hear you're being promoted to the supreme council, you must feel pretty honoured about that." Athrun asked. "Of course I am." Yzak answered. "Well that's good" Athrun said as he took a sip of his tea. "I'm sure that the PLANTS will continue to follow the right paths with people like you leading them." "Thanks Athrun, I appreciate that. And thanks for the Tea Cagalli, it's delicious." She looked at him and smiled "Thank you very much Yzak."

"About this friend" Athrun brought up, "Do you mind if I ask who she is?" Yzak looked down at the table. He had already told Dearka, so why not tell Athrun and Cagalli? They were his close friends to, so they deserved to know just as much as he did.

"It's Fllay, Fllay Allster." Athrun's face was struck with shock, he almost dropped his tea cup he was so surprised. Athrun and Cagalli both looked at each other confused as all hell. "How do you know Fllay?" they both questioned.

Yzak told them the same long story he had told Dearka the night before. And when it was finished, just like Dearka, Athrun had been near tears. Even Cagalli, who wasn't really the romantic type, was crying in Athrun's arms.

Athrun thought about it. It just didn't seem fair. Everyone had found happiness after the wars. He had Cagalli, Kira had Lacus, Dearka had Milly, even Mue and Murrue had a nice happy ending, so why couldn't Yzak? It wasn't fair, how the world could be so cruel.

&-&-&

The next morning Yzak got ready for his big day. He put on his nicest suit, his fanciest shows, and his most expensive cologne. He and Athrun drove into town and went to Koga's florist, where he bought the most beautiful bouquet of roses he could find. He and Athrun then proceeded to the graveyard.

Athrun dropped him off at the gate "I'll let you be alone with her" he announced. "Thanks Athrun"

Yzak was frozen with emotion as he stepped up to her headstone. He placed the roses on the grave and saluted, but for once in his life, Yzak Joule couldn't think of what to say. Word's slowly came to him as he stood in front of the memorial.

"Hello Fllay. I finally found your letter; I can't believe it took me 9 years to discover it. Thank you very much, you have no idea how much it means to me. You know, I was thinking the other night, about why it took me so long to live up to my promise and come see you. But only now do I realize that I was afraid. Afraid that I couldn't handle the realization that you were actually dead. I guess deep down I kind of had this small hope that you weren't really dead and would return to me someday. I was afraid to let go of that hope. But you gave me the strength to know that I had to. Your letter truly handed me the courage that I needed to be a man and live up to the promise I made to you. It feels good to be here, good to move on. I wish I could tell you how much I love and miss you, but something tells me you know that better than I do. Don't worry about me, I'm doing just fine. I've had my time to cry, I've had my time to think, and I've had my time to reflect. The moments we shared together on the Vesalius were the best of my life, just like you said in the letter. But there gone, and they can never come back now. I've learned not to dwell on them thanks to you."

Yzak paused briefly to simply admire her headstone, and smiled. It was the happiest he had ever felt since that one fateful night when she saved his life, and he let her cry out all of her pain in his arms. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter. He did not read it all, he just skipped to the last few lines.

"And no matter what happens, no matter where we end up in life. I need you to you that you're the most important person in my life. You gave me strength and courage when I felt so scared and alone, you took me by the hand and led me through the land of darkness that had clouded my life. You were always there for me; I can never repay you for what you have done for me. I really hope we meet again when this horrible war comes to an end, so that we can live our lives together like we talked about. Goodbye Yzak, I love you so very much, and no matter what the future brings, I will never forget you."

Love,

Fllay

Tears stung down the side of his face as he looked up at the setting sun, and felt a comforting hand grasp his shoulder. "Are you alright?" Athrun asked with great concern and care in his voice. "Yes I'm fine he said, let's get going." "Are you sure?" "Yes."

The two of them turned around and began to walk away. But before he was out of the vicinity, Yzak turned around for one last look. He could have sworn that he saw Fllay's beautiful faces smiling back at him in the golden autumn sky. He looked directly into her stunning blue-gray eyes one final time.

"Goodbye Fllay, I love you too."


End file.
